Inspired To Dream

 

When Joseph came to them the next morning, he saw that they were dejected.  So he asked Pharaoh’s officials who were in custody with him in his master’s house, “Why do you look so sad today?”  “We both had dreams,” they answered, “but there is no one to interpret them.”  Then Joseph said to them, “Do not interpretations belong to God?  Tell me your dreams.” 

Gen. 40:6 - 8

   I’m a girl that can appreciate moments of quiet – especially if you consider the fact that my male dominated family always has sports or a sports news program blasting from the TV.  For me, quiet is good reflection time; time for me to relax my spirit and listen for God.  This past weekend, in my moments of quiet reflection, I found myself wandering in the dreams of my children as I wandered in and out of their bedrooms.   I believe that as parents, we shape our children’s dreams by planting seeds of aspiration and cultivating those seeds to grow.  As I looked about their respective bedrooms, I caught a glimpse of the dreams of my children; the seeds Maurice and I had begun to plant that were taking root right there in their bedrooms and undoubtedly in their minds....

 Joshua’s bedroom walls are painted in rich hues of blood orange and olive green.  He chose those colors himself and they well represent his personality – warm, soothing and mature.  His dreams are carefully placed in his room – a large framed black & white picture of Muhammad Ali knocking out Sonny Liston; an Eagles banner draped across an archway; souvenir baseballs lined neatly on his dresser top; a picture of Grand-Pop (Maurice’s dad); a mini-library of books on a tiered book shelf and a large framed black & white photo of the notorious Rat Pack.  Joshua dreams of a successful future in sports business; he wants to win big in life and his room reflects those dreams.   I think the photo of Grand-Pop represents family and a strong work ethic – values that Grand-Pop believed in most.

Malachi, on the other hand, has a bright, blue stars and moon themed bedroom.  He has a banner with affirmations like: “Dare to be yourself!”  Brown angel figurines inhabit one of the shelves of his bustling book rack.  There are reminders of the presence of God everywhere – a plaque that says, “God is love”; and another one that says, “You are heaven sent”; and a framed picture card that says, “Jesus loves you!”  And of course, Malachi’s room is dotted with medical equipment and supplies that we’ve tried to make less conspicuous.

In my mind, the contrast in my boys' rooms is striking.  We have given Joshua a tangible future to reach for, but Malachi’s future is less tangible and more rooted in eternity with God.  The topic of dreams of the future has always been challenging for me where Malachi is concerned; that topic activates the verb do (doing) which brings up limitations for Malachi.  It’s hard for me to envision Malachi doing typical things we dream for our children: college, marriage, career, etc...  But God keeps showing me that Malachi’s journey is not typical and therefore he will not do typical things.  Moreover, whereas society defines success by what we do, God is more interested in who we are being.   In the early stages of Malachi’s diagnosis, friends would often share with me the dreams they had of Malachi walking, talking and being free of the ventilator.  I wondered why I, his mother, never had those dreams and the wonderment of why deeply pained me....  Today I am wiser and at a place of peace with regard to my dreams for my children.  God is showing up in both Joshua and Malachi’s life and doing AWESOME things!  Malachi is walking in the favor of God!  In the bible, Malachi is a prophet who brings good news.  How befitting for my Malachi!  I never dreamt that my child would be a prophet.    I’m so grateful that God's dreams for us are bigger than I could ever imagine.

QUESTION OF THE DAY:  What inspires the dreams you have for your children?  What imprint has God made on those dreams?

When Your Breakdown Inspires Your Breakthrough

Recently, my husband, Maurice, attended the 2012 United States Conference on AIDS in Las Vegas, NV.  Fortunately, we were able to arrange four days of 24 hour nursing care for our son Malachi so that I could join Maurice in Vegas – trust me, that was no easy task!   While officially, it was not a vacation, we seized a rare opportunity for the two of us to spend some much needed quality time together, away from our kids, our daily stressors and the demands and worries of the world of disability.  Seeing the sites of Las Vegas wasn’t the highlight of our trip – it was the intimate time we spent together having dinner, laughing, talking and just enjoying each other’s company that made this “work-cation” worthwhile.  There was just one little problem.  I had a “moment” while in Vegas; a mini meltdown; an emotional crisis, of sorts....

  On our last night together in Las Vegas, Maurice and I had planned on seeing Mystere, a Cirque du Soleil show.  In an effort to get a price reduction on the tickets, we agreed to do a time share tour of new property still in production in Las Vegas.  Along with about 20 other folks, we viewed a slide show presentation of the time share and took a tour of the property.  Both the host and tour guide were super-friendly and very good at engaging all of the guests in what I call “imagine conversation” – imagine-your-family-vacationing-in-this-dream-location... Of course, it all sounded good, but Maurice and I agreed beforehand that we were not financially in position to acquire any new property; we agreed to say no to any sales offer.  Turning down the offer to purchase property was easy, however, not buying into the “imagine conversation”, proved not to be easy.  While walking through the property, our tour guide referenced the slideshow presentation; she asked us to imagine our family in those pictures creating new rituals and fond family vacation memories.  Without any warning, I felt tears well up in my eyes and gravity pulling my face and emotion down, but I tried to fight it.  Maurice caught the emotion in my eyes and the shift in my mood and asked me, “Are you okay?” I just nodded and tried my best to avoid his stare.  All the while, our tour guide continued to highlight the most impressive features of the property and paint a picture of our family enjoying this sacred time together.   I whipped out my sunglasses and clumsily put them on my face and frantically tried to push down my rising emotion, but with every family image my mind inserted, the emotion slowly kept erupting.  Maurice abruptly stopped the tour, pulled me close and asked, “What’s wrong?”   Well, you know I lost it, right?  Yeah-no, it wasn’t one of those cute, little cries either.  I had a full-blown-emotional-warring-with-my-spirit-cry.  I was overcome with grief and sadness that my family wasn’t a part of that slideshow presentation and likely would never be.  I couldn’t envision my wheelchair and ventilator- bound child grinning like crazy in one of those cozy little vacation scenarios and it bothered me.  I think that the physical, emotional and financial challenge of attempting to coordinate nurses, supplies, life-sustaining equipment and emergent hospital care partially prohibited me from envisioning my family in those scenarios.  But what deeply pained me even more was the improbability of actualizing that great family dream; I was grieving the loss of a normal family life. That’s what brought on my full-blown-emotional-warring-with-my-spirit-cry.  In my mind, that beautiful family vacation would always be just a dream for my family and never a reality.

My husband’s gift is his wisdom; his ability to bring fresh perspective and insight to a situation.  My spirit knows peace when it connects with Maurice’s wisdom.  Maurice reminded me that thirteen years ago when we received Malachi’s diagnosis of Spinal Muscular Atrophy and a life sentence of two years for Malachi, we couldn’t imagine that Malachi would live to be a teenager.  We couldn’t imagine that Malachi would be able to operate a computer with his feet.  We couldn’t imagine that he and his brother Joshua would engage in rounds of sibling rivalry.  In essence, Maurice reminded me that there was so much that we couldn’t imagine with Malachi because of the limitations doctors imposed on his life.  Yet, Malachi exceeded those limitations because time and again, our family dared to imagine; we stood in the possibilities of an omnipotent God!

 With God ALL things are possible; He continues to reveal His hope to us on this journey.  In my moment of doubt and woe, I had a difficult time letting that truth resonate with my spirit.  But later, in my quiet moment, I replayed that tape.  Maurice was right!  We serve a God who loves us unconditionally and calls us to imagine without limitations. God’s dreams for us are beyond anything that we could ever imagine!  When we operate in that divine imagination, we get the blessing and God gets the glory!  The challenge for our family is to accept our charge: to whom much is given, much is required.

QUESTION OF THE DAY:  What dreams have you decided are out of reach?  Share your divine imagination revelation.