“Mom, can I take Malachi to school for show and tell next
week?” That was the year that Joshua was
a fifth grader. My initial reaction was
shock- actually, I was horrified. Who
does that? I mean, what kid would think
to take his brother to school as his show and tell project? Moreover, what kind of mother would I be to
allow such a thing?
Then I began to play the tape back; I began to think back to
the times our family had gone to the zoo or museum and Joshua had become so fed
up with other kids pointing or staring at his little brother that he literally
stood in front of him, arms crossed, angry scowl on his face and a menacing
look in his eye, daring anyone to even questioningly glance his way. Joshua sees himself as Malachi’s
protector. Having a little brother who
is severely disabled has been emotionally challenging for Joshua; it’s taken
him some time to process what all that means and how to navigate being a
sibling of a little brother with special needs.
“Mom, they act like
he’s an exhibit in a museum!” I try to
soften the blow with a plausible explanation, “Josh, you’re used to his wheelchair
and all of the tubes. A lot of kids have
never seen disability up close.”
That evening, Joshua made his pitch about taking his
brother, Malachi, to show and tell at school and I listened – really listened, to his heart. He wanted to set the record straight; he
wanted others to see his brother as a real person with real feelings. He wanted the kids to know that it’s not okay
to laugh, point or stare at people just because they’re different. Joshua wanted to get in front of the
situation and be in control of his feelings.
Bless his little heart.
As a toddler, Joshua was the most kind and thoughtful
child. His compassion and eagerness to
show kindness to others touched me.
Often, I would praise his acts of kindness by saying, “Bless your little heart” to him. He caught on quickly and would often beat me
to the punch – “Bless my little heart, Mommy?”
The following week, accompanied by myself and a nurse,
Joshua proudly took Malachi to show and tell at his school and it was good –
for both of them! That day, both boys were rock stars! Initially, Joshua’s
classmates were a bit shy and apprehensive about approaching Malachi. Then, they began to ask the questions they
needed to ask to make sense of what they were seeing, hearing and feeling. The apprehension began to shift. “He can operate a computer with his
feet?” “Wow! That’s cool!” The kids circled around Malachi
and embraced him with acceptance and love.
Show and tell was a
huge success! Joshua took his brother to
school for show and tell. Who does
that? A big brother who gets it that
although his little brother is uniquely different, he’s not a museum exhibit or
someone to be ridiculed; he’s a human being with feelings; he’s Joshua’s little
brother; he’s a child of God – and Joshua wants everyone else to get it
too. Bless
his little heart.
“The wolf will live
with the lamb,
the leopard will lie
down with the goat,
the calf and the lion
and the yearling together;
and a little child
shall lead them.” Isaiah 11:6
