A Perfect Storm

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. Mark 4: 35-39

 We are currently in the midst of the greatest storm our eyes have ever seen:  Hurricane Sandy.  Reports say that the East coast of the United States has been devastated with damage from fallen trees, gusts of winds at 90 miles per hour, power outages and over flooding.  Folks have had to evacuate their homes and seek refuge elsewhere.  As I watch the news coverage of the storm on my television and witness reactions through social media, I’m struck by the captivating hold Hurricane Sandy has on we, her prey; her presence and power has virtually caused everyone to stand at attention.  I’m noticing the messages constructed in the news media and in social media as well; messages about pulling together as a nation and making sure that our neighbors around us have survival supplies such as water, blankets, flashlight, etc...  It’s a message that covertly illustrates God’s greatest commandment, “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Luke 10:27 

But getting back to Hurricane Sandy’s commanding force reminds me of another passage in scripture:

³⁵ That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” ³⁶ Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. ³⁷ A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. ³⁸ Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

³⁹ He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. 
Mark 4: 35-39

We all have storms in our lives; times when something of a catastrophic nature has taken center stage and wreaked havoc in our lives.  A moment when our light has gone out and we are flooded with grief and sorrow; we are tumbling in the wind and desperate for refuge from our storm.  A couple of years ago, I was in a storm of that magnitude.  Malachi had received and I.V. infusion of a medicine to strengthen his bone density.  He had never had an infusion of any kind before, nor had he ever had this particular medicine.  After the infusion was administered, we were discharged home for recovery.  Hours later, Malachi had an adverse reaction to the medicine - he crashed, big time!  He was lethargic and tachycardic (elevated heart rate).  His heart rate had gone as high as 230!  My heart rate sky rocketed too!  I had never seen Malachi so out of it before. Although his ability to move his body is severely limited, I saw no muscle movement from him whatsoever and that frightened me.  Additionally, with his heart rate so high, we weren’t able to feed him, so he had to have I.V. fluids. It was a gloomy storm and I was scared.  The doctor that administered the infusion was of no help to me whatsoever.  He couldn’t understand why Malachi was having the reaction to the medicine. According to his literature, his reaction was “abnormal” and so he wasn’t sure how to treat.  To make matters worse, the doctor shared with me that he had never administered the medicine to a child before! Malachi’s primary doctor admitted Malachi to the ICU (intensive care unit) for “observation.”  In essence, we had to wait out that storm.  I will tell you that that was one of the longest and most painful periods of my life.  It was a major struggle for me NOT to be in my head playing out “what if” scenarios. I cried and prayed my way through that storm.

There is no storm in our life that can match the omnipotent power of God! When we love the Lord our God with all of our heart, we know that He is shelter in the storm; He is our safe place to run to.    Instead of being fixated on Hurricane Sandy and the magnitude of her destruction, I choose to be fixated on God and what He will do in this moment in my life.  Yes, I am choosing to make this current storm personal in the same way that the storm with the infusion was personal.  God did some miraculous things in my life during that time and I am expecting Him to do awesome things during this current storm!  For one, I couldn’t look to the doctors for answers – they didn’t have them!  I learned to look to God in the storm.   Second, my husband, Maurice, encouraged me to play back all of the moments when Malachi overcame sickness and beat the odds; he encouraged me to stand in faith instead of fear. You see, I was afraid of what I was seeing and what I was imagining so much so that I was literally making myself sick.   Fear will make you sick because fear is a stance of weakness; we cower when we are afraid.  Faith will make you strong because faith is a stance of strength; we stand tall and confident when we stand in faith.  And finally, I am looking forward to what God will speak in this storm.  The scripture said that He told the waves to “Quiet!  Be still!”  And then He spoke directly to His disciples. It was personal.  That let me know that when we bring our storms to God, He takes it personally.  Yes, we are currently witnessing a great storm in Hurricane Sandy, but we serve the GREATEST GOD!!!

QUESTION OF THE DAY:  What are you anticipating God to do in your life during this storm?

 

Holy Spirit Power!

But when he, the Spirit of Truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth.  John 16:13

 There comes a time in the life of every mother of a child with special needs when we succumb to the words, “I can’t.”  Like the eclipse of the moon, that moment is a rare occurrence in history that will likely garner a lot of water cooler conversation when it happens.  You see, “I can’t” is inconceivable in the mind of a mother of a child with special needs; it simply does not exist in our vocabulary.   Like the legions of mothers of children with special needs that came before me, I acquired super powers when I joined this exclusive club.  Suddenly, I developed a keen set of senses that afforded me the ability to detect when the rhythm of Malachi’s ventilator was out of sync.  I acquired super human strength that allowed me to lift and carry Malachi (unassisted) great distances.  And I used my new found adrenalin produced as a result of my recycled extreme fatigue, to give me a super boost of energy to accomplish more in a 24 hour period than humanely possible!  But alas, this week it happened to me; that defining moment arrived.  After a moment of heart-pounding panic; after begging and pleading with God; after a couple of phone calls to other mothers of special needs children to brainstorm strategies; after heavy sighs and a moment of reasoning with my spirit; and after admitting defeat to my husband who nodded empathetically, “it” finally happened.   I finally surrendered to my nemesis, “I CAN’T.”  

 Since, well forever, I have been lifting and carrying Malachi from his bed to his car seat, and all the while, he has been growing, growing, growing!  Growing longer and growing heavier.  To date, Malachi is 5 feet 2 inches tall and 72 lbs. He is also dead weight, which means that he cannot support any of his own weight.  What further complicates this issue is that when I transfer him, he is off of his ventilator – he’s not breathing.  So the transition, by all accounts, needs to happen very swiftly.   Twice in the last two weeks, I felt Malachi slipping from my grasp as I transferred him – and it scared me.  I have previously felt the burden of his weight against my 125lb. frame, but I’ve never before felt him slipping from my grasp, until now.  What rings true for me (and many mothers of children with special needs that I know), is that we are used to pushing ourselves beyond our limits to meet the needs of our child. It’s simply what we’ve had to do to get the job done and ensure some semblance of a good quality of life and a happy existence for our child.  Yet, there comes a time when we realize that there are some things that we cannot continue to do; our way isn’t working and we need help to figure out a different way.  When we find ourselves up against, I can’t, God sends His helper, the Holy Spirit, to save the day.  I thank God for the wise counsel of the Holy Spirit.  I claim the panicky voice within as my own, and I recognize the calm, clear, confident voice within as the Holy Spirit.  It was that inner voice that said to me,” It’s time to make a change”.  “You can no longer carry Malachi great distances by yourself.  We need to find another way.”   I am happy to report that I listened to that voice.  It led me to a viable, safe solution for both Malachi and I.  As long as I follow the voice of the Holy Spirit, I can’t go wrong because the Spirit of Truth CAN and WILL guide me to a solution.

 

Prayer:  Father-God, as a parent, there are moments when I feel completely overwhelmed and defeated; moments when I have given my all and I don’t know what else to do; moments when I simply, can’t.....  In those moments, Lord, send your Helper, the Holy Spirit, to counsel and guide me.  Amen

 

QUESTION OF THE DAY:  What wise counsel has the Holy Spirit recently given you?

 

 

Season of Change

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or stow away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?”  Matthew 6:26

These last few days I have gasped out loud as my eyes have taken in the rich iridescent hues of red, orange and yellow on the leaves.  We are in the midst of fall and all of its glorious splendor.  And as I drink in the beauty of nature, I have only one thought:  Look at God!  He is a Masterful Creator!  We are a witness to the beauty of nature; it’s a constant we come to expect and appreciate. The vibrant colored leaves as they fall from the trees.  The pureness of the first snow of winter.  Long, sun-drenched days and balmy nights signal the arrival of summer.  And colorful flowers burst from the seams to highlight the call of spring.  Yes, every season of nature is marked by change, some subtle, some swift and abrasive, but nevertheless, beautiful.  Like nature, every one of us experiences seasons of change in our lives- changes in our marriage, changes on our jobs, changes in our health, just to name a few.   Yet, why is it that we are inspired by the beauty of seasonal changes, yet we neglect to embrace the beauty of change in our lives?  Perhaps we don’t readily see the beauty in our changing situation; that beauty is usually foreshadowed by fear and worry....

  A couple of years ago, I had to abruptly leave my part-time job due to circumstances beyond my control.  In my heart, I knew had given all that I could to the families I served, so it was time to move on.  But for all practical purposes, I wasn’t prepared to leave my position.  Additionally, I was not optimistic that I would find another employer that could offer me the support and flexibility I needed to manage Malachi’s needs.  I couldn’t see the beauty of change in that situation because I was afraid of turning a corner and not finding an open door.  A year later, I embarked on an opportunity to do parent engagement and parent development (leadership) work.  The scope of my work is not limited to parents of children with special needs, however, it is inclusive and I still have the opportunity to teach parents how to advocate for their children’s needs.  Additionally, I have the flexibility and support I need.  And the best blessing is that that “time out” from work inspired me to resume my passion – writing.  In Matthew 6:25, Jesus tells us, “Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or stow away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable than they?”

 Again, I say, look at God!  He is a Masterful Creator!   He takes care of EVERYTHING in the universe and will meet us in our season of change.  And when we value that belief, we can begin to embrace the change in our lives because we know that change is seasonal and all seasons are divinely inspired.  I looked up the words divine and inspire in the dictionary and here’s what it said: Divine, of or related to God; devoted to God.   Inspire, to breath into or upon; to breathe life into.  God will anoint your season with His breath of life!

 

QUESTION OF THE DAY:

 

WHAT

in your spirit     in your thoughts     in your family     in your future     in your hurts

in your circumstances     in your dreams     in your children     in your relationships

in your body     in your hopes     in your home

in your HEART

 

DO YOU WANT GOD TO BREATH LIFE INTO???

 

 

Wait For It!

But by faith we eagerly await through the spirit the righteousness through which we hope.  Galatians 5:5

 Parents, teachers and therapists were abuzz with excitement as the final preparations for the Special Olympics at Malachi’s school were nearly complete.  This extraordinary event was an annual occurrence for all of our city-wide special education programs, but it was a first for our family and I couldn’t wait to see how the school staff would engage Malachi’s participation in the activities.  Clearly, Malachi was the most physically compromised child in the school; he did not have the capacity to sit for extended periods of time like the other children, in fact, while in school, he spent much of his time lying down on a stretcher.   Additionally, he was the only child in the school tethered to a ventilator.   I wondered, what could they possibly do to have him compete in the Special Olympics?  But, I kept my optimism in check by reminding myself, there are no problems, only opportunities for God to show up and show out!

The gymnasium was festively decorated in the school’s colors of yellow and green and sectioned off for different games and races.  Colorful banners made by the children decorated the walls and rainbow –colored streamers rained over every archway.  Josh ran off to the school courtyard for the free pony rides as Maurice and I wandered about the gymnasium goggling at all of the specially adapted contraptions for the Olympic Games.  Shortly thereafter, I spotted my mom and my middle brother entering the gymnasium.  I walked over to greet them.  After exchanging hugs, I noticed my brother’s somber demeanor.  “What’s wrong?” I asked   “Nuthin” he muttered while looking away.  “Where’s Malachi?” he asked “Oh, the physical therapist is helping Nurse Julie get him ready for his event. “ I said He just nodded as he glanced nervously about the gym.  All of a sudden, we heard a loud voice over the speaker.  It was the principal announcing the start of the games.  I signaled for Maurice to go and get Josh and I took my seat in the bleachers with my family. 

If you’ve never been to a Special Olympics, let me be the first to tell you that it is a beautiful, awe-inspiring event!  I was simply amazed at how the school staff worked with love, dedication and patience with each and every student – all with differing abilities.  EVERY child competed in some event and every child received some type of ribbon or medal.  The room was bursting with love and pride from the school staff to the parents and family.  About ten minutes before Malachi’s event, I noticed that my brother slipped away from the bleachers and headed outside alone...When it was time for Malachi’s event, his physical therapist motioned for us to come to the floor and wait for him at the finish line.  The therapist had rigged a motor base to a tumble form chair (a specially padded therapeutic chair).  With Malachi sitting at a 45 degree angle in the chair, his index finger was attached to a splint and the splint was attached to the motor.  Every time Malachi lightly tapped the switch, the chair would inch forward.  Malachi was in a “car race” with two other children!  On your mark.  Get set.  GO!  And off the three boys went!  Maurice, Josh, my mom and I were jumping up and down cheering loudly.  “C’mon Malachi!  You can do it!  PUUUUUSSSHHH!”  Malachi was bringing up the rear – he had gotten a slow start and was inching his “car” along.  And then a pretty cool thing happened.  Malachi figured out that if he kept his index finger depressed on the switch, the car would glide as opposed to inch across the floor.  Malachi floored his “gas pedal!”  As he came sailing towards the finish line, we couldn’t contain our cheers or tears as Malachi *wait for it* crossed the finish line and won first place in his first Special Olympics!  It was a proud moment for my family.  But in the back of my mind, I wondered why my brother disappeared.   After all of the excitement died down, I mentioned the incident to Maurice.  Maurice told me that he and my brother had spoken and that my brother shared with him that being around children with disabilities made him uncomfortable and sad.  When he looked at the children, he saw their limitations, not their possibilities and that made him both uncomfortable and sad.  It was too much for him to handle....

Initially, I was ticked with my brother.  I wanted him to be right there with the rest of our family cheering Malachi to victory. I wanted him to see that Malachi and the other children were capable of winning in life.  In my moment of quiet reflection, I had to consider the lens through which my brother saw the situation; he was looking at Malachi and the other children with his human eyes and not his spiritual eyes.   Our humanity can only see what is right in front of us, but God challenges us to see situations with our spiritual eyes; to look at a situation or person with the love of a merciful God.  Whenever we choose to only see with human eyes, we will always walk away from a blessing.  The lens of our spiritual eyes allows us to experience the omnipotence of God!  It’s a lens that will bring hope into sharp focus!  It’s a lens without limitations. It’s a lens that reads, “all things are possible with God!”   My brother missed that opportunity and thus a blessing, because he walked away; or as we say in pop-culture, he simply didn’t, wait for it.

 

QUESTION OF THE DAY:  What divinely inspired opportunity did you miss because you didn’t, wait for it?

Blessed Assurance- written by Maurice Chapman

There was a song we sang in church when I was younger called Blessed Assurance, perhaps you know it. http://library.timelesstruths.org/music/Blessed_Assurance/   It’s an upbeat song that declares,

 “Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine, Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine, Heir of salvation, purchased of God, Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood”.  The words I could always sing without reading the words were, “This is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the daylong”. 

I must admit, I never really appreciated or understood what those words meant until I lived a little longer…

As many of you well know, in 1999, our youngest son, Malachi, was diagnosed with a neuromuscular condition known as Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA,) Type 1.  We were informed that SMA is the leading cause of death for children under the age of two from a genetic disorder.  The most optimistic prognosis for Malachi was about 2-3 years!  But, his quality of life would be severely hindered; he would never walk, talk or move on his own, they said.  He would never live without his ventilator, which is essentially life support for him.  The doctors were vague enough to say that with new technology, we may have to write history if Malachi were to survive.  My wife, Dena rolled up her sleeves and led the charge to learn the clinical skills to manage Malachi’s care and she made sure that I and all of Malachi’s care providers not only learned his care too, but also honored the standard of care she put in place.

We were blessed with devoted nurses in the hospital.  We were encouraged by the outpouring of love and support from our faith community, as friends and family learned to care for Malachi.   Some folks prepared meals for us, while others offered to spend time with Joshua, our oldest child.  But for those first two years, Dena and I went through an extremely dark, scary and lonely journey of uncertainty, fear and grief.  Emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, and mentally, we were preparing ourselves to lose a child!  We were never given permission to dream of a positive future for our youngest son, and that hurt like hell!

The initial years at home with Malachi were very difficult on us as a family, and especially for Dena and me as a couple.  Skilled high-tech private duty nursing was (and still is) sparse.  The complexity of Malachi’s case intimidated many nurses, and we had to adjust to strangers in your home as frequently as they were.  The truth is that many nights we had no nurse, so I would stay up until 2AM, and then Dena would stay up until 7AM when a nurse arrived and then, I would go to work – exhausted!  During my “shift” of caring for Malachi, I would often fall asleep.

One night on my shift, I had a dream.  I dreamt that Malachi had come off the ventilator and the alarms did not sound- or I slept through them...   In the dream, I “woke up” and ran into Mal’s room and realized that his trach site was healed, and he was off of the vent!  Well, the shock of the dream awakened me, and I checked on Mal and everything was fine.  I drifted back to sleep on the sofa when this time I heard a voice.  It was a clear voice, but I was unable to determine who it was speaking to me.  The message was profound, prophetic and pronounced… “Malachi is going to be fine.  He’ll be here a while. You must take care of yourself and each other.  Don’t worry about Malachi.”

Okay, you have my attention now.  I sat up on the sofa and thought about my dream.  It was with great apprehension that I shared my dream with Dena, because I didn’t want her to scoff at me nor did I want to “jinx” my dream. 

More than ten years later, I can reflect on that dream and acknowledge with unabated certainty that God spoke hope into my spirit.  He literally entered my consciousness to offer a “Blessed Assurance” of our miraculous future with Malachi (Messenger of God) Maurice Chapman.  Our family is so much richer today as a result of the “echoes of mercy and whispers of love”. 

·         I have learned that it is important to pray to God for our needs, and to thank Him for His many blessings, but it is more important to be still and listen.  Despite the promise that was whispered in my ear, I had my doubts and fears. Yet, I NEVER dreamed of Malachi becoming a teenager!

·         I have witnessed adversity making me stronger and strengthening my marriage, but we both struggled with the discomfort of stress, fatigue and doubt.  We just never quit!  Today we are breathing in the joy, hope and strength of one another’s love.

·         I have learned to take a moment to be grateful for what is divine, true and pure.  We live in the midst of a miracle every day!

I have learned to strive to live by Philippians 4:8-9 which states,

” 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”

Truly, I know the meaning of “Blessed Assurance”.

Perfect submission, all is at rest,
I in my Savior am happy and blest,
Watching and waiting, looking above,
Filled with His goodness, lost in His love.

Francis J. Crosby

This is my story, this is my song!!!

Question of the Day: What blessed assurance has God shown you?  What can you dream about that you couldn't before?

Inspired To Dream

 

When Joseph came to them the next morning, he saw that they were dejected.  So he asked Pharaoh’s officials who were in custody with him in his master’s house, “Why do you look so sad today?”  “We both had dreams,” they answered, “but there is no one to interpret them.”  Then Joseph said to them, “Do not interpretations belong to God?  Tell me your dreams.” 

Gen. 40:6 - 8

   I’m a girl that can appreciate moments of quiet – especially if you consider the fact that my male dominated family always has sports or a sports news program blasting from the TV.  For me, quiet is good reflection time; time for me to relax my spirit and listen for God.  This past weekend, in my moments of quiet reflection, I found myself wandering in the dreams of my children as I wandered in and out of their bedrooms.   I believe that as parents, we shape our children’s dreams by planting seeds of aspiration and cultivating those seeds to grow.  As I looked about their respective bedrooms, I caught a glimpse of the dreams of my children; the seeds Maurice and I had begun to plant that were taking root right there in their bedrooms and undoubtedly in their minds....

 Joshua’s bedroom walls are painted in rich hues of blood orange and olive green.  He chose those colors himself and they well represent his personality – warm, soothing and mature.  His dreams are carefully placed in his room – a large framed black & white picture of Muhammad Ali knocking out Sonny Liston; an Eagles banner draped across an archway; souvenir baseballs lined neatly on his dresser top; a picture of Grand-Pop (Maurice’s dad); a mini-library of books on a tiered book shelf and a large framed black & white photo of the notorious Rat Pack.  Joshua dreams of a successful future in sports business; he wants to win big in life and his room reflects those dreams.   I think the photo of Grand-Pop represents family and a strong work ethic – values that Grand-Pop believed in most.

Malachi, on the other hand, has a bright, blue stars and moon themed bedroom.  He has a banner with affirmations like: “Dare to be yourself!”  Brown angel figurines inhabit one of the shelves of his bustling book rack.  There are reminders of the presence of God everywhere – a plaque that says, “God is love”; and another one that says, “You are heaven sent”; and a framed picture card that says, “Jesus loves you!”  And of course, Malachi’s room is dotted with medical equipment and supplies that we’ve tried to make less conspicuous.

In my mind, the contrast in my boys' rooms is striking.  We have given Joshua a tangible future to reach for, but Malachi’s future is less tangible and more rooted in eternity with God.  The topic of dreams of the future has always been challenging for me where Malachi is concerned; that topic activates the verb do (doing) which brings up limitations for Malachi.  It’s hard for me to envision Malachi doing typical things we dream for our children: college, marriage, career, etc...  But God keeps showing me that Malachi’s journey is not typical and therefore he will not do typical things.  Moreover, whereas society defines success by what we do, God is more interested in who we are being.   In the early stages of Malachi’s diagnosis, friends would often share with me the dreams they had of Malachi walking, talking and being free of the ventilator.  I wondered why I, his mother, never had those dreams and the wonderment of why deeply pained me....  Today I am wiser and at a place of peace with regard to my dreams for my children.  God is showing up in both Joshua and Malachi’s life and doing AWESOME things!  Malachi is walking in the favor of God!  In the bible, Malachi is a prophet who brings good news.  How befitting for my Malachi!  I never dreamt that my child would be a prophet.    I’m so grateful that God's dreams for us are bigger than I could ever imagine.

QUESTION OF THE DAY:  What inspires the dreams you have for your children?  What imprint has God made on those dreams?

When Your Breakdown Inspires Your Breakthrough

Recently, my husband, Maurice, attended the 2012 United States Conference on AIDS in Las Vegas, NV.  Fortunately, we were able to arrange four days of 24 hour nursing care for our son Malachi so that I could join Maurice in Vegas – trust me, that was no easy task!   While officially, it was not a vacation, we seized a rare opportunity for the two of us to spend some much needed quality time together, away from our kids, our daily stressors and the demands and worries of the world of disability.  Seeing the sites of Las Vegas wasn’t the highlight of our trip – it was the intimate time we spent together having dinner, laughing, talking and just enjoying each other’s company that made this “work-cation” worthwhile.  There was just one little problem.  I had a “moment” while in Vegas; a mini meltdown; an emotional crisis, of sorts....

  On our last night together in Las Vegas, Maurice and I had planned on seeing Mystere, a Cirque du Soleil show.  In an effort to get a price reduction on the tickets, we agreed to do a time share tour of new property still in production in Las Vegas.  Along with about 20 other folks, we viewed a slide show presentation of the time share and took a tour of the property.  Both the host and tour guide were super-friendly and very good at engaging all of the guests in what I call “imagine conversation” – imagine-your-family-vacationing-in-this-dream-location... Of course, it all sounded good, but Maurice and I agreed beforehand that we were not financially in position to acquire any new property; we agreed to say no to any sales offer.  Turning down the offer to purchase property was easy, however, not buying into the “imagine conversation”, proved not to be easy.  While walking through the property, our tour guide referenced the slideshow presentation; she asked us to imagine our family in those pictures creating new rituals and fond family vacation memories.  Without any warning, I felt tears well up in my eyes and gravity pulling my face and emotion down, but I tried to fight it.  Maurice caught the emotion in my eyes and the shift in my mood and asked me, “Are you okay?” I just nodded and tried my best to avoid his stare.  All the while, our tour guide continued to highlight the most impressive features of the property and paint a picture of our family enjoying this sacred time together.   I whipped out my sunglasses and clumsily put them on my face and frantically tried to push down my rising emotion, but with every family image my mind inserted, the emotion slowly kept erupting.  Maurice abruptly stopped the tour, pulled me close and asked, “What’s wrong?”   Well, you know I lost it, right?  Yeah-no, it wasn’t one of those cute, little cries either.  I had a full-blown-emotional-warring-with-my-spirit-cry.  I was overcome with grief and sadness that my family wasn’t a part of that slideshow presentation and likely would never be.  I couldn’t envision my wheelchair and ventilator- bound child grinning like crazy in one of those cozy little vacation scenarios and it bothered me.  I think that the physical, emotional and financial challenge of attempting to coordinate nurses, supplies, life-sustaining equipment and emergent hospital care partially prohibited me from envisioning my family in those scenarios.  But what deeply pained me even more was the improbability of actualizing that great family dream; I was grieving the loss of a normal family life. That’s what brought on my full-blown-emotional-warring-with-my-spirit-cry.  In my mind, that beautiful family vacation would always be just a dream for my family and never a reality.

My husband’s gift is his wisdom; his ability to bring fresh perspective and insight to a situation.  My spirit knows peace when it connects with Maurice’s wisdom.  Maurice reminded me that thirteen years ago when we received Malachi’s diagnosis of Spinal Muscular Atrophy and a life sentence of two years for Malachi, we couldn’t imagine that Malachi would live to be a teenager.  We couldn’t imagine that Malachi would be able to operate a computer with his feet.  We couldn’t imagine that he and his brother Joshua would engage in rounds of sibling rivalry.  In essence, Maurice reminded me that there was so much that we couldn’t imagine with Malachi because of the limitations doctors imposed on his life.  Yet, Malachi exceeded those limitations because time and again, our family dared to imagine; we stood in the possibilities of an omnipotent God!

 With God ALL things are possible; He continues to reveal His hope to us on this journey.  In my moment of doubt and woe, I had a difficult time letting that truth resonate with my spirit.  But later, in my quiet moment, I replayed that tape.  Maurice was right!  We serve a God who loves us unconditionally and calls us to imagine without limitations. God’s dreams for us are beyond anything that we could ever imagine!  When we operate in that divine imagination, we get the blessing and God gets the glory!  The challenge for our family is to accept our charge: to whom much is given, much is required.

QUESTION OF THE DAY:  What dreams have you decided are out of reach?  Share your divine imagination revelation.