Sunday, October 28, 2012

Holy Spirit Power!


But when he, the Spirit of Truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth.  John 16:13

 There comes a time in the life of every mother of a child with special needs when we succumb to the words, “I can’t.”  Like the eclipse of the moon, that moment is a rare occurrence in history that will likely garner a lot of water cooler conversation when it happens.  You see, “I can’t” is inconceivable in the mind of a mother of a child with special needs; it simply does not exist in our vocabulary.   Like the legions of mothers of children with special needs that came before me, I acquired super powers when I joined this exclusive club.  Suddenly, I developed a keen set of senses that afforded me the ability to detect when the rhythm of Malachi’s ventilator was out of sync.  I acquired super human strength that allowed me to lift and carry Malachi (unassisted) great distances.  And I used my new found adrenalin produced as a result of my recycled extreme fatigue, to give me a super boost of energy to accomplish more in a 24 hour period than humanely possible!  But alas, this week it happened to me; that defining moment arrived.  After a moment of heart-pounding panic; after begging and pleading with God; after a couple of phone calls to other mothers of special needs children to brainstorm strategies; after heavy sighs and a moment of reasoning with my spirit; and after admitting defeat to my husband who nodded empathetically, “it” finally happened.   I finally surrendered to my nemesis, “I CAN’T.”  

 Since, well forever, I have been lifting and carrying Malachi from his bed to his car seat, and all the while, he has been growing, growing, growing!  Growing longer and growing heavier.  To date, Malachi is 5 feet 2 inches tall and 72 lbs. He is also dead weight, which means that he cannot support any of his own weight.  What further complicates this issue is that when I transfer him, he is off of his ventilator – he’s not breathing.  So the transition, by all accounts, needs to happen very swiftly.   Twice in the last two weeks, I felt Malachi slipping from my grasp as I transferred him – and it scared me.  I have previously felt the burden of his weight against my 125lb. frame, but I’ve never before felt him slipping from my grasp, until now.  What rings true for me (and many mothers of children with special needs that I know), is that we are used to pushing ourselves beyond our limits to meet the needs of our child. It’s simply what we’ve had to do to get the job done and ensure some semblance of a good quality of life and a happy existence for our child.  Yet, there comes a time when we realize that there are some things that we cannot continue to do; our way isn’t working and we need help to figure out a different way.  When we find ourselves up against, I can’t, God sends His helper, the Holy Spirit, to save the day.  I thank God for the wise counsel of the Holy Spirit.  I claim the panicky voice within as my own, and I recognize the calm, clear, confident voice within as the Holy Spirit.  It was that inner voice that said to me,” It’s time to make a change”.  “You can no longer carry Malachi great distances by yourself.  We need to find another way.”   I am happy to report that I listened to that voice.  It led me to a viable, safe solution for both Malachi and I.  As long as I follow the voice of the Holy Spirit, I can’t go wrong because the Spirit of Truth CAN and WILL guide me to a solution.
 

Prayer:  Father-God, as a parent, there are moments when I feel completely overwhelmed and defeated; moments when I have given my all and I don’t know what else to do; moments when I simply, can’t.....  In those moments, Lord, send your Helper, the Holy Spirit, to counsel and guide me.  Amen

 

QUESTION OF THE DAY:  What wise counsel has the Holy Spirit recently given you?

 

 

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dena your heart is beautiful and you "can" with HIS guidance. For me if I trust God enough, HE helps me to find those alternatives. Praying and listening for me comes slow, but I am trying to learn the lesson God shows me and appreciate the gift HE has given to me. Each day is a blessing.

Thank you for your writing, Dena.

Love and blessings,
Terry

Anonymous said...

Yes those words may seem like a curse to some but to others it opens the door to what we all need sometimes, "help." The words are not a finality they are a suitable cry. Which says I don't have to do everything on my own. Reach out to others, we are here to help make sure not only Malachi not fall but the rest of you'll as well. Glory to God!!! I must say He has always given me the gift of discernment. Sometimes when it's concerning myself, I just choose not to listen. Or better yet I turn a deaf ear. I too must learn to lean and depend on the Holy Spirit.

Dena said...

Terry,

I like the perspective you share - I can with His guidance! It's a lesson I too am learning little by little. I think so many moms of special needs children get caught up in that SuperMom syndrome; we are trying to do and be all for our special child...And I think subconsciously, some of that is making up for their limitations - speaking for myself. I am grateful for God's grace and for the wisdom of the Holy Spirit because when I am obedient, I am better able to take care of myself (self-preservation)! Thank you for sharing, Terry :)

Dena said...

Twana,

Just the other day, Maurice and I were talking about asking for help. He shared that for him it's difficult to ask for help. For me, I think I've just gotten accustomed to the weight of the cross I bear (so to speak)and mostly, i've learned to shift the weight...But even Jesus Himself stubled under the weight of his cross, so I get that it's time to let it go..On your gift of discernment, we will lose what we don't use! His plan for your gift will soon be revealed! Thanks for sharing, Twana :) Be Divinely Inspired!

Bomi said...

Thanks so much for sharing, Dena! You and your little guy are in my thoughts and prayers and I trust God will continue to give you wisdom, strength and peace every step of the way. Amen! Big hugs to you both:)!
Much Love & Blessings,

Bomi

Dena said...

Thank you BOMI for your prayers for my family! And thank you for visiting us at Life After Breath! I do hope you will visit again soon:)

Be Divinely Inspired,
Dena
and hugs right back atcha!!!

Angel said...

Your post paints a picture of the pastor's sermon I heard on Sunday regarding how we must be led of the Spirit and not the flesh. It can be a humbling thing to admit "I can't" but it is such a relief when we recognize "He can".

Thank you for your kind comments today on my blog. Blessings to you and your family!

Dena said...

Angel,

I couldn't agree with you more about being led by the spirit and not the flesh. It's so easy to ignore that voice BUT I'm getting better by and by at obeying that voice :) THANKS for sharing and for following my blog. Us inspirational writers gotta stick together!